And here sits Cairns, with its access to the world's largest coral reef system and the oldest rainforest on the planet... Striking sun and brooding skies, the muddy foreshore with squawking seabirds... I weather a storm, I amble tipsy an esplanade, I wait for my ride to its wilder nearby... Here glides the waterways where the saltwater crocodiles are... where a perfect apex predator waits, for everything, anything that moves, the flesh of fish, turtle, snake, bird, boar, human... We spot a few resting near the mangroves, where they've seen us before we've seen them... Here rambles the Daintree Rainforest... survivor of continental drift, older than the Amazon, a tropical bowl of biodiversity upon biodiversity... And Cape Tribulation, that remote splendid headland, where Cook ran aground and scribbled the words: "...here begun all our troubles". Green Island, surrounded by the great yet fragile coral reef and all its works... A short but nauseating ferry ride from Cairns... I snorkel among the marine life, I bask on the hot sands, I try to forget about my puking seasickness... But that was 2013 and now it's 2018 and I'm ready to brave the seas once more... I'm on a boat heading out to the Great Barrier Reef for three days and two nights of faraway scuba diving... I hope I'll see extraordinary, even fantastical things in its wondrous ocean.
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Van Diemen's Land. Battery point. Rising up on the same mattress in different years; cool and brisk and subdued as the haft-end of the earth ought to be. Here be gull, that be sea-star, this be fish conjoined to chip. Sun's been stretched, as is the blue, thin – dashed – thin – like fading boat trails in the upper atmosphere. A market. A Saturday Salamanca in the heady, overpriced overcast. Clatter, oyster shell. Tremble, tarpaulin. A perfect landing; cleaner than beach stone. Cleaner than every footnote this land ever uttered, ever rasped or guttered. Look forward, land, march and march from colonies of blood. (forget, forget) Mount Wellington. A day hike, an aural hike of scramble and scritch and swish and snap, up kunanyi, struggle and up: scrunch hunch and crunch! Crunch! to end in sublime laziness, or decadence,
with cheese atop the dolerite pipes, with Hobart – nipaluna – at my feet – crisp and wide and longing like the spade-end of the world. I like art. I like weird art. MONA has weird art. I like MONA. MONA is in Hobart. Hobart is in Tasmania. Tasmania is in Australia. They have gambling in Australia. Some people made lots of money by gambling. David Walsh made lots of money by gambling. David Walsh is from Hobart in Tasmania. David Walsh used his money to make MONA in Hobart in Tasmania. You can take a ferry to get to MONA. You can sit on sheep on the ferry. Sheep are called Ovis aries. There are lots of pretty views on the way there. You can have a wine on the ferry. I had an overpriced glass of wine. Wine comes from the flowering plant genus Vitis. I saw a travelling exhibition on my first visit. The travelling exhibit showcased outsider art. Outsider art is sometimes called art brut. It is made by outsider artists. Outsider artists are self-taught. They are outside the conventional art world. They just want to make art. Outsider art can sometimes be fantastic. There was aeroplane art. There was firearm art. There was taxidermy art. There was mystical art. There was undefinable art. There was everything art. They even had art by Henry Darger. Henry Darger was a hospital janitor. But Henry Darger was also an artist. Henry Darger wrote a 15,000+ page fantasy book with hundreds of drawings. Henry Darger's drawings are childish and violent and outlandish. Henry Darger's art was only discovered by his landlords after his death. Seriously. Look up Henry Darger. MONA proper has strong themes. MONA proper is all about sex and death. Sex is all about carnal knowledge. Death is all about the end of knowledge. I saw a machine make poop. That was funny. I also saw a man with a tattoo on his back. The man with a tattoo on his back is Tim Steiner. Tim Steiner is a human artwork. Tim Steiner spends his life sitting in galleries displaying the tattoo on his back. When Tim Steiner dies his skin will be framed. It was a privilege to have seen him while he is alive. I saw phallic stuff. And I saw yonic stuff. I saw metallic stuff. And I saw bread stuff. I saw Asian stuff. And I saw occidental stuff. I saw architectural stuff. And I saw dynamic stuff. There was loud stuff. And there was immature stuff. There was confronting stuff. And there was political stuff. Stuff is from the Old French estoffe. Estoffe means quilted material, provisions, stock. Estoffe is from the word estoffer. Estoffer means to equip, to stock. Estoffer is from the Old German stopfon. Stopfon means to plug, to stuff. Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes I feel bored. Sometimes I feel tired. Sometimes when I feel sad and bored and tired I will also look at art. Sometimes this makes me feel better. Sometimes this happens even when the art is bizarre or sexual or disturbing or immature. Sometimes this makes me feel more alive. You should like art. You should like weird art. MONA has weird art. You should like MONA. Seven True Facts About Darwin Fact #1: Contrary to popular belief, the famous British naturalist Charles Darwin never visited the city. Instead, Darwin was founded in 1869 by his cousin, Gary Darwin, a beagle breeder who discovered the harbour after making a 2,100 nautical mile wrong turn at the Strait of Malacca. Fact #2: For a brief period, between 1990-1994, the Northern Territory legislature was suspended and replaced by a large boab tree (Adansonia gregorii), making the Territory the first-ever dendrocracy in recorded history. Fact #3: You may be familiar with Darwin's notorious 'The NT News' headlines (e.g. "Horny roo stalks NT women"). But did you know that no human actually writes them? The headlines are, in fact, the product of a malfunctioning mechanical haiku generator: "Basho Gone Troppo" as it's affectionately called by locals. Fact #4: If you squint really hard, you can see Indonesia on the horizon. Fact #5: When walking through the George Brown Darwin Botanic Gardens, you may notice signs warning you not to pick up chunks of asbestos on the ground. This is because asbestos is used as a nesting material by the rare and endangered Australian white ibis (Threskiornis molucca), which requires it for successful egg incubation. Fact #6: In July of 2017, in an innovative attempt to stimulate the slumping Darwin property market, the Chief Minister of the Northern Territory offered free Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) F/A-18 Hornets for first-time homebuyers. Fact #7: Common wifi passwords in Darwin hotels: box_jellies, buffal0, crocodil3, salt!water, kAkadu
In late 2018, I had the opportunity to take a three-day tour of Litchfield and Kakadu National Park in the 'Top End' of Australia: the tropical region of the Northern Territory in and around Darwin. It was quite a little trip. There were around a dozen of us, all different nationalities, packed into a four-wheel-drive van as it sped into the dusty summer wilderness. Litchfield National ParkThe first stop was Litchfield National Park to the southwest of Darwin. Given how incredibly, oppressively hot it was (I don't recommend ever visiting this part of the world in the dead heat of the Aussie summer months), it was a godsend that we were able to cool off at two well-known swimming spots: Florence Falls and Wangi Falls. Crystal clear water. Shaded swimming spots. No man-eating crocodiles. Perfect. A famous feature of Litchfield National Park is the magnetic termite mounds. Thin, tall and eerily tombstone-like, each mound is orientated with its main axis running north-sound for heat management purposes (hence why their tiny builders are known as 'magnetic' or 'compass termites'). Best. Termite mounds. Ever. ...or are they? Litchfield is also home to many Cathedral termite mounds. They're impossible to miss. These epic structures (constructed simply from dirt, plant matter, and termite saliva and excrement, no less) can soar over four-metres high and be over a century old. They are the megacities of the insect world. Kakadu National ParkOf course, while Litchfield is near, it is nowhere near as amazing as Kakadu National Park. Southeast of Darwin, Kakadu is one of the largest national parks in Australia. It is roughly the size of Switzerland and is dual-listed on the UNESCO World Heritage List for both its remarkable natural wonder and cultural importance to this part of the planet. One of the highlights of my time in Kakadu was a cruise into the Yellow Water, a billabong (isolated and backwater branch of a river) on the South Alligator River floodplain that is brimming with native flora and fauna. This was a chance to explore the region's rich wetland areas and see Australian birds, saltwater crocodiles, and some (not-so-native) feral water buffaloes and wild horses. A note on crocodiles in the 'Top End': they are absolutely something to be taken seriously. The Northern Territory is home to perhaps the largest wild crocodile population in the world, including the estuarine or saltwater crocodile. It is the perfect predator, capable of growing to over six metres in length and willing to stalk and eat anything and everything. Including humans. In fact, from 2005 to 2014, 15 people were killed in crocodile attacks in the Northern Territory. Pictured above: photos of our stopover at Nawurlandja lookout. It was a bloody hot day for a hike, but it offered a sweeping view across the national park and out towards Burrungkuy (Nourlangie Rock) which is renowned for its Aboriginal rock art. Speaking of Aboriginal art, Kakadu's reputation as a place of global cultural significance is well-earned. Some of the rock art in the area are up to 20,000 years old(!) and they provide a profound testament to the continuing Aboriginal presence in Australia. Even if many tourists come to this part of the 'Top End' for its natural wonders, its cultural heritage must be appreciated. My all-time favourite place in the national park (and I guess, therefore, by extension, one of my favourite spots in Australia) has to be Ubirr. This is a large rock formation in the East Alligator region of the national park that is, along with Burrungkuy, celebrated for its ancient Aboriginal rock paintings. Our tour group was lucky enough to stay for the sunset at Ubirr. And what a magnificent sunset it was, with the panoramic interplay of light and colours across the rocky outcrops and floodplains. Being able to witness this was probably what firmly sealed Ubirr as my most treasured place in Kakadu. And on the final day of the tour, we were able to visit Jim Jim Falls. Even though it was the dry season and didn't have any flowing water, it was still a majestic location with towering escarpments, monsoon forests, massive boulders, and a dark, 40-metre-deep plunge pool at the base of the waterfall. So in conclusion, what can I write to summarise my time visiting Litchfield and Kakadu National Park? To put it simply, because of them, the 'Top End' of Australia will always hold a special place in my memories. What is the 'Top End' then? It is a place of savannah woodlands and sweeping floodplains... birdlife and estuarine crocodiles... billabongs and scorching heat... waterfalls and escarpments... rock art and termite cathedrals... lush wetlands and blood-red sunsets... It was quite a little trip...
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AuthorMing is an economist, traveller, and creative writer from Melbourne, Australia. He’s a nebulous collection of particles on the lookout for a good corner to sit with a book and a cup of coffee. Archives
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